The Person in ME

Have you wondered whether there is another entity in you; living, talking and thinking in a manner completely diverse from the outer shell that you and the entire world has got so used to. It is an entity so powerful and overwhelming that when it comes to its element, it overpowers all your senses and directs your bodily shell into action while you recede to the recesses of sanity like a distant observer. Have you met that entity ever??

I have met him. I do not remember clearly all my encounters with that inner self. A couple of times when I have been insanely mad at something or someone I have seen his beastly face bare its fangs like a werewolf out for blood. I have been mortally petrified of that self to subdue it into a rational being. Emotionally devastated, I have seen him take over and drag along my wasted body. I am eternally grateful for that for I lacked the courage or the willingness to move that extra mile. I have seen him write lines of poetry drenched in the tears of my broken heart, I have seen him playfully jump up and try to catch the butterflies in the spring breeze. I have seen him move me through excruciating pains of bearing a surgery and through the overjoyed happiness at receiving the honours before people that matter. Have I seen him in fleeting glances or have I just been a spectator to his endless achievements?

I remember being me through the drudgeries of everyday life working through the mundane chores like a clockwork clown. I did not find him peeping out when I got pushed around in life by my superiors or by my fellow life mates, whether in college or in a bus. I haven't seen his traces in the millions of seconds or the zillions of moments of my fruitless living and my forgettable being. I have never found his traces when I wished these prolonged hours be gone like a fleeting wind. But it was he who seeded the ideas of creation, it was he who whispered the poetry of nature, it was he who dragged my mind from out of the trenches of a boring History class to the distant planets in the Horse Nebula. It was he who was always the visionary, the innovator, the wanderer and the rebel.

He has been there all throughout like a crouching panther awaiting his chance. I owe him the memories I fondly cherish. I owe him the few minutes of glory or shame that have made me stand out. I owe him the few moments that have made life worth living. I dread the next time I face him, and yet I yearn for that moment!!